Today I Will Punch Everyone In Hong Kong In The Face

Don't let it get to you. Don't let it get to you! Oops, too late.

“Not Today”, Philippe Joly

For those of you who are still confused
allow me to clarify:
If you are in Hong Kong
I will punch you in the face.

The punching will begin
with no specific order
it will be
organic in nature
it will include
everyone.

I will be punching those
who play video games
loudly
on the MTR. I tried to let you off
with stern looks and
dramatically offered headphones
but you did not take the cue.

The punches will be in the face.

A large proportion will be receiving
punches to the face
for lack of oral care
and overall hygiene. Blackened teeth,
soured and ashtray breath
are examples of punishable offenses.
Also fingers in the nose.
Knuckle deep or a hooked thumb rubbing.
Or twisting tissues
to insert two inches into the nose
and after close inspection
dropping them
to the subway floor
as easily as shed skin.

Are your children running and screaming
in a lobby or on a train? Or are you feeding
a two-year-old Coca-Cola? Granting their demand for a candy
from your purse
only to make another demand
of your open hand           
to spit the candy into
ten seconds later?

You all get a punch in the face.

Why not slide into the empty seat
when I approach
inside the crowded bus?
While I slide past your angled legs
I will be punching you in the face.

The air is fouled with your smoke
the land fills with your wasted food
and the sea chokes on your plastic
mentality
of disposability.

For these crimes you will be sentenced
to one punch in the face.

And for those of you
who are no doubt
shouting
“Wait! You are guilty too!
Bitching and moaning
and complaining! Who are you to judge?”

I am the man
who has just punched
everyone in Hong Kong
in the face.

---

Andrew was born among the hop vines and sagebrush in the deserts of Washington state. He eventually found his way to teaching kindergarten in international schools. Andrew fills his time playing chess, writing an occasional drunken poem, and submitting fake classifieds as a private investigator.