The Day a Doctor in Hong Kong Tells Me My Daughter Might Need Psychiatric Drugs

Coming to terms with the unthinkable

“The Meaning of Life” by Charlotte Farhan

I walk too fast. I know that because 
every time we walk together, she tells me that. 
How can you move so quickly through a huge 
crowd of people? she asks, and I tell her I’ve been a 
New Yorker and a Delhiite. We know crowds. 
We know crowds where people rush and move 
between each other like desperate boats grasping for shores. 
I don’t say it, but this is what it felt like to me:
a mother desperate to get her child ashore.

Why won't we see this doctor again? she asked
after I walked out of our appointment, fuming.
And I say to her, as clearly as I can through my
surge of anger. Because doctors need to be good
investigators, I tell her.

Because I cannot tolerate 
a rushed diagnosis or a casual attitude, not from a 
$1,200 appointment, not from a face wearing a good 
Chinese pedigree, 
holding degrees from England and 
Scotland, flaunting a white coat and an accent that 
cost millions. I cannot accept that someone who 
appears so highly skilled has nothing to offer except excuses.

There isn’t much we can do, he tells us.
We can always try these medicines, he tells us.
Of course, there are side effects, he tells us.
Or we can just wait and watch, he tells us. 

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Shikha S. Lamba is a jewelry designer and poet living in Hong Kong.  She is the co-editor of an online magazine, Coffee and Conversations. Shikha's poetry and visual art have been published in journals and magazines in Hong Kong, the US, the UK, Bangladesh, Indonesia, The Netherlands and India. Her poems were nominated for Best of the Net in 2023 and 2024. She is a 2023 Pushcart prize nominee.

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